he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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