I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
