I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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