The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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