I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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