you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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