Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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