I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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