Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
