Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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