Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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