We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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