apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
