HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
