Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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