before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Randomize
