Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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