I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
