we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
