Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she pinky promised me she was 18
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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