Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
