Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
