I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
