I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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