So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
