Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
