YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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