Pappa wants mamma naked
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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