Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
