FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
