I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
