I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
