You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
