Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
