I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
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I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
