plz talk dirty to me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
