I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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