I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
