DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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