I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
