shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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