no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
