This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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