is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't deserve a penis
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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