Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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