i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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