just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
