sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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