Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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