paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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