Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Randomize
