i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
