well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
