found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
