JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
